Archive for October, 2011
Two weeks after my last post, I lost my apartment, lost hope, lost a lot of tears and my beloved Tinkerbell figurine lost a hand and broke her wings. How
silly symbolic. Well, I see your lesson and raise you an epiphany, solidified faith in my dreams, more helping hands than I can count (you!) and an even deeper appreciation for the love surrounding me.
This is the tale of how Tinkerbell took her broken wings and learned to fly again.
Exactly one year ago, while I was having the time of my life in LA, something stirred in my spirit whenever we passed Laurel Canyon Boulevard and I knew it was a significant place for me. The winding road, the trees, the rocks, the energy!! It was like driving into a magical forest then exiting into the blinding lights of Sunset. ["What just happened? Did anyone else feel that??"] I believed I was supposed to be there and would eventually return, but my dreams and hopes of ever returning to that enchanting place diminished for a moment when I lost my place a couple of months ago and moved back in with my mother. And while the flame of hope for a musical future was being washed away by tears and years of disappointment, I received a big, heavy package all the way from Canada, sent by my friend Erika last month (also known as the Blue Monster, keeping my Facebook “like” page). A book about Laurel Canyon and all the artists who have lived there. I had no idea! Musicians lived there? Generations of them?? Wow… I started believing again, if only a little bit.
A few days after, I had a profound and cathartic interview with the Grown Folks Music blog and spoke candidly about my woes and hopes, the dance of my undying faith in my passion and this dramatic feeling of dying imagining giving the dream up. I’ve received many heart warming messages from you all (some of you I already knew, some of you were new), telling me you enjoy the songs I sing and write, not to give up and how touched you were by the interview and related to certain aspects of my story: being vulnerable as a woman, the struggles of “making it” as an artist or simply daring to dream… with everything you have, foolish as it may be. You made me realize we all need to smile in the face of disappointment and it becomes a lesson, to smile in the face of darkness and thus become the light. You have rekindled my flame with your energy, I am incredibly grateful to you. Thank you!
Mundane is merely magic in disguise. That’s the title of this blog (top left, see it?), one of the lines in my song “High on Life” and my soul’s motto. Every day is (supposed to be) special, but some days seem to shout: “Hey that line you wrote? It’s true! Magic is everywhere! Keep believing! Don’t give up!”. Today was another one of those magically mundane days. Two presents presented themselves to me on this seemingly ordinary Thursday. The pure joy of receiving a package, times two! One: I received these gorgeous Nadine Calor earrings I won two weeks ago on facebook, inspired by the magical night’s sky. Just the kind of thing a nocturnal nymph would wear. Oh yes!
And the big surprise, an early birthday present from the UK: the reincarnation of my special Tinkerbell figurine, which my mom originally bought for me years ago to inspire me while pursuing my passion for music. It had an important place in my apartment and I looked at it daily for hope, it inspired me to keep pushing for my dream. The original one lost her wings and hand while my belongings got shipped from there to here and silly as this may sound, that upset me quite a bit.
I remember telling my friend Michael (from Manchester, like the guy from Big Fish and the Bee Gees, but I digress..) about these “bastards” breaking Tinkerbell’s wings, but I never expected him to send me a brand new version of the fairy I’ve owned for years for my birthday (which is in November, and I suppose… today!), wings and hand intact, bearing the message that’s been propelling my wings for years: “Let Your Dreams Blossom”. I will. I promise. Promise me you will too?